Tara Ellison

is a writer in Los Angeles

Recent Writing

How I, a Lifelong Commitment-Phobe, Found Liberation in My Second Marriage

Vogue ∙ Opinion

Bit by bit and then all at once, the concept of leaving one’s spouse has become, for women, almost fetishized—a rite of passage on the way to meeting one’s true self.

Why Would My Father Not Want to Know Me?

The New York Times ∙ Modern Love

I spent my childhood longing for my father, who disappeared after I was born. Then my mother found him in a brochure.

My Mother’s Envy Will Outlive Us Both

The Cut ∙ First Person

Even from inside the fog of dementia, the toxic competitiveness that plagued my growing up remains crystal clear.

The Last Time I’ll See My Mother

Los Angeles Times ∙ Lifestyle

After a lifetime of hurt, I thought I was done. But distance and my own daughter have helped me rewrite our ending.

Lonely and depressed at 50, I launched my own midlife reboot

Los Angeles Times ∙ Lifestyle

I didn't give myself permission to pursue what interested me, partly because I had no idea what to pursue. How did people figure out what to do when their nests emptied out?

I've been married 13 years. Why is vacation sex suddenly so fleeting?

Los Angeles Times ∙ Lifestyle

A funny thing happened almost a decade ago when I told my girlfriends that I was embarking on a two-week anniversary trip with my husband. Eyebrows were raised. One friend shook her head and said, “That would quickly become problematic…”

What My Mom Taught Me About Sex

The CUT ∙ Family

Growing up, my mother prioritized being with men above all else. Today, I’m still reckoning with what that meant.

Love and Marriage and Menopause

The CUT ∙ Swellness

My hormones turned sex with my husband into a labor of love. Emphasis on the labor part.

Driving the Stake Through Emotional Vampires

The New York Times ∙ Style

How a visit to a love shaman helped put an end to draining relationships.

I almost kissed my ex-boyfriend. Did I have feelings for him again?

Los Angeles Times ∙ Lifestyle

As we walked back to our cars after the party, my ex-boyfriend said, “I have something for you,” and dropped an object into the center of my palm…

Inside Gwyneth Paltrow’s $1,600 hormone summit there’s plenty of Goop, but also some good

Los Angeles Times ∙ Lifestyle

On a sunny spring Saturday, a well-heeled, mostly middle-aged crowd of about 100 Gwyneth Paltrow devotees gathered at Goop headquarters in Santa Monica for “Goop Immersive: Hormonal Edition.”

In Hollywood, older women are still an afterthought. In ‘Julia,’ they’re a revelation

Los Angeles Times ∙ Television

“I can’t wait for menopause so all that creative energy can be channeled back into my art,” said a middle-aged writer I once met at a workshop. Here was a woman who’d figured out how to flip the script…

Why is And Just Like That… Being So Weird About Menopause?

Vogue ∙ Opinion

What I don’t understand about the And Just Like That…, is that if you’re going to go for all the stereotypical laments about aging, why glaze over the most obvious one?

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As menopause hit, my libido waned, my brain felt dull. So I gave testosterone a try.

The Washington Post ∙ Health

When, at 51, I confided to a friend that I’d had limited success with what my doctor prescribed, she said that she was thriving on something called hormonal “pellets.”

Can women have better sex after 50? Let's start by busting menopause stigma

NBC News ∙ Culture & Lifestyle

It turns out, the biggest changes that hit in my 50s didn’t have anything to do with how my body looked.

To be a woman in L.A. involves upkeep. Just not during coronavirus

Los Angeles Times ∙ Lifestyle

Alone in my bedroom, I’m Zooming my first Kundalini class, doing hip circles to get rid of the “emotional garbage” the teacher said is stuck in there.

Borat, Tik Tok and small talk: How my 18-year-old and I reconnected during quarantine

The Washington Post ∙ On Parenting

Instead of battling over little things, we were suddenly in it together. And nobody was going anywhere.

L.A. Affairs: I went on blind dates with a bunch of losers. Here’s what I learned

Los Angeles Times ∙ Lifestyle

When I looked at the date as an opportunity to learn something it made the experience much richer.

Where is that sweet spot between casual dating and immediate commitment?

The Washington Post ∙ Relationships

No matter how much I liked him…the limited nature of our relationship began to wear on me.

The Challenge of Finding Love without a Father

Harper’s Bazaar

With the launch of summer's must-see blockbuster, Wonder Woman, one writer finds her inner superhero to face the turmoil of growing up without a dad.

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The Mentor: My Three-Day Job Interview With Hunter Thompson

Huffington Post ∙ Entertainment

I had only a passing awareness of the legend of Hunter S. Thompson when, in the early 90’s, the opportunity to fly to Aspen to interview as his editorial assistant came out of the blue.